


It's You

by SharkGirl



Category: Free!
Genre: (not violent or gory), Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pining, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 20:30:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6093145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkGirl/pseuds/SharkGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Help?” Momo asked and then golden eyes grew impossibly wide.  “S-Senpai, you don’t have-”<br/>“It’s okay," Ai batted Momo’s hands away and palmed him through his sweats.  “Teammates help each other out, right?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's You

**Author's Note:**

> (I can't come up with titles)  
> And so, with four different things requiring updates, I have decided to write a one-shot. Lol.
> 
> I blame indevan. Because they write these beautifully heart-wrenching sad fics, I wanted to give it a try. Of course, mine still ends all happy because I can't escape my own fluff.  
> Please enjoy! Thanks, as always, to my beta, indevan.
> 
> Warning: This contains self-harm. Nothing gory or violent, but still. FYI. Also, Momo is 17 here, so technically he's underage, but he's well above the age of consent. (I'm just covering my bases)

For Nitori Aiichirou, being the Samezuka swim team’s captain was both a blessing and a curse.  A blessing because he could ogle the fit and well-toned bodies of his athletic teammates whenever he pleased without question, feigning the need to ensure their form was perfect.  A curse because he, too, was only wearing a swimsuit and it did little to hide his ‘interest’ in his teammates.

His own body had changed little in his three years at Samezuka.  He was taller now, but still slight. His muscles were defined, but lean.  He looked nothing like his previous captain and roommate, Rin-senpai.  And his was nowhere near the Perfect Body Yamazaki-senpai possessed.  Perhaps he chose to focus on the wrong stroke.

Ai watched as the backstroke swimmers started another practice heat.  He easily spotted a head of fiery hair, bright and vibrant against the cool blue of the swimming pool.

His roommate, Mikoshiba Momotarou.

Momo had grown up quite a bit since last year.  He was taller, bigger, his back muscles – though not yet Tachibana-san’s level – were getting more defined and Ai found himself staring when his roommate was getting dressed in the morning.  Or when they were changing before practice.  Or when he was in the showers.  With each slice of his arms through the water, he was looking more and more like his older brother.  Yes, Ai hadn’t minded ogling him either.

Of course, it was different when Ai looked at Momo.  He drank him in like the others, yes, but there was something else.  He wasn’t just looking at his roommate’s arms or his toned stomach, but his face, too.  The way the redhead smiled, lighting up the entire room.  The way he got excited when he was talking about the newest additions to his stag beetle collection and his theories on what the best things to feed them were.

Ai had feelings for Momo.

But, whether or not those feelings were lust or love, it didn’t matter.  Momo was straight.  Painfully so.

Whenever they’d talk about plans for the weekend or the guys would bring in gravure magazines to pass around, the only things coming out of Momo’s mouth were ‘Gou-san this’ or ‘Gou-san that.’  He had it bad.  And it was annoying.

The other team members had tried to dissuade him from going after her, stating that she obviously had no interest in him, but he was a stubborn man.

A stubborn man with a cute little ass.

Ai sighed as he once again ignored his roommate’s boasts about how ‘those girls were cute, but Gou-san is so much cuter.’  It gave him a headache.  At least when he was rooming with Rin, he could stare all he wanted and not worry about ‘feelings’ getting in the way.  He admired Rin.  Wanted to be like him.  Wished his body looked nearly as good.  But when he’d get off to visions of the older man on him, inside him, he didn’t hate himself for it afterward.

He gathered up his belongings and headed out of the locker room, where he’d wait for the last of his team members to trickle out of the natatorium, so he could lock up.  Then he could stop being the captain for a moment and maybe rub one out while Momo went out for his bi-nightly call to his older brother.

But, as luck would have it, Momo would not be making that long call tonight.

Ai was sitting in their room, a hand reaching for the drawer of his desk, knowing that he’d need what he had hidden away inside, when their door burst open.  He slammed the drawer shut, nearly crushing his fingers and turned wide eyes on his roommate.  He was about to scold him for startling him, but he stopped when he saw the look on his face.

Momo’s cheeks were flushed, a never-ending stream of tears dripping down his face, his nose running.

“Momo-kun,” Ai stood up and walked over to him.  “What hap-”

“Nii-san,” Momo’s voice cracked.  “Nii-san, he…”

Had something happened to Mikoshiba?  Was he all right?  Was he hurt?

“Is everything all-”

“Nii-san and G-Gou-san,” he sobbed, covering his eyes with his arm and scrubbing at his face with the sleeve of his jacket.  “Th-They,” he choked on whatever else he was going to say.

“Momo-kun,” Ai put a hand on his shoulder.  “What about Mikoshiba-senpai and Gou-san?”

“Nii-san said he c-couldn’t t-talk to me be-because,” Momo moved his arm and sniffled.  “He’s got a date with Gou-san!”

Now, that didn’t sound quite right.  His senpai had been trying for years to ask Gou out.

“Are you sure?” Ai walked him over to his bed and sat him down on the bottom bunk.  “Maybe it was just a misunder-”

“No,” he frowned, bottom lip quivering.  “I heard her in the background,” he said and then took a deep, shuddering breath as he calmed himself down.  “Nii-san said they were getting closer…” he trailed off, golden eyes downcast.

So, Gou had finally said ‘yes.’  Perhaps miracles do happen.  Either that or the three hundred and fifty-sixth time’s the charm.

Ai shook his head and sat down beside his roommate on the bed.

“Sorry,” Momo wiped his snot with his sleeve.

“Why are you apologizing?” Ai leaned back, resting on his arms.  “You didn’t do anything.”

“But Ai-senpai saw me like this,” he sniffed again.

This coming from the guy who writhes on the floor when he loses a heat.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ai stood up and ruffled the second-year’s hair.  “We all get our hearts broken at some point,” he gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile.  “There’s no shame in crying over it.”

“Has Ai-senpai?” Momo asked, looking up at him.

“Have I what?”

“Have you ever had your heart broken?”

Ai chewed on his lower lip.  Sure, he’d had the hots for guys before, friends, classmates, the like, but he’d never been in love with any of them.  The closest he’d ever come to feeling like that was due to the teary-eyed, overexcited redhead sitting in front of him.

“Not quite,” he decided.

They were silent for a moment.

“Is there someone Ai-senpai likes?” golden eyes stared up at him, still looking pained and vulnerable.  He wanted to commiserate with him.

Well, if irony didn’t have a sense of humor.

“Yes,” Ai replied, ignoring the tightness he felt in his chest at the way the other man was looking up at him, completely open.

“Then you understand,” Momo lowered his gaze again, looking pitiful.  Ai cursed his nurturing side, blaming Rin for instilling it in him in their short time living together.  He walked forward and sat down beside him again.

“Did,” Ai began and then paused.  “Do you love Gou-san?”

“I don’t know,” the younger man admitted, still looking away.  “She’s so cute and nice and,” he sighed.  “But she’s with Nii-san now.”

“Do you hate your brother?”

Momo’s eyes snapped up to look at him, shock written all over his face.

“Hate Nii-san?”  It looked like just saying the words left a bad taste in his mouth.  “I could never.”

“Then, are you happy for him?” Ai waited for his response.  Maybe if Momo got over Gou, he might be willing to – but he stopped the thought before it even had a chance to cross his mind.  Momo was straight.  He liked cute girls with long hair and soft curves.  That much was evident by the way he nearly creamed himself when Ai accidentally shot Gou with his squirt gun at the Cultural Festival the year before, completely soaking her and causing her white shirt to become nearly transparent against her skin.

“I’m happy for Nii-san, but,” Momo wiped his nose again.  “It still sucks.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled.  “It does.”

They sat there on the bed, both staring at the ground.  Ai watched as Momo fidgeted beside him.  It was then that he remembered that the redhead was a very touchy-feely person.

“Do you, uh,” Ai scratched the back of his head.  “Do you want a hug?”

“A hug?” Momo turned toward him, blinking in confusion.  “From Senpai?”

“It’s okay if you don’t,” Ai looked away, feeling his cheeks tinting.  Maybe he’d read the situation wrong.  Perhaps when the Mikoshiba men were sad, they didn’t like that sort of thing.

“No, no, I,” Momo’s voice was closer and when Ai turned to face him, their noses nearly brushed.  “I’d like that.”

Hesitantly, Ai wrapped his arms around the taller man’s shoulders, only jumping slightly when he felt Momo’s hands come to rest on his lower back.  He leaned in and hugged him, ignoring the feeling of the other man’s wet sleeve against his side.

Momo smelled good, a mixture of chlorine and, ironically enough, peaches.  It was most definitely because of the body wash his younger sister had sent him for his birthday.  He’d complained when he received it, stating that he’d never use it because it was so girly.  But, he must have run out of his usual soap.

Ai probably held on longer than he should have, burying his face in the younger man’s neck and breathing in deeply.  He liked being held in those strong arms.  His chest tightened when he remembered that the only reason he was in them now was because he was comforting his roommate whose heart had just been broken by a girl.

A girl.

Ai reluctantly pulled away, wanting to stay wrapped up in Momo’s warmth.  When he looked up to see if the other man was okay, he noticed that Momo was looking away from him.  Had he hugged him too long?  Was he disgusted?

“Momo-kun, is everythi-”

“Ah, sorry, Ai-senpai,” Momo lowered his hands to his crotch and Ai followed them with his eyes.  He only caught a glimpse but it looked like, “I’m hard,” the redhead admitted.

Momo was honest to a fault.

“Why are you hard?”

“I’m s-sorry!” the younger man sputtered, angling his body away.  “You were so close and your hair is really soft, I-”

“It’s okay,” Ai reached a hand forward, boldly placing it over Momo’s, just above his clothed erection.  “Do you,” he knew his face was red, but he pressed on, “Do you want any help with that?”

“Help?” Momo asked and then golden eyes grew impossibly wide.  “S-Senpai, you don’t have-”

“It’s okay," Ai batted Momo’s hands away and palmed him through his sweats.  “Teammates help each other out, right?” he asked, practically lapping up the way Momo squeezed his eyes shut and bucked into his hand.  “And tonight was stressful for you.”

Ai tried not to mention Mikoshiba or Gou.

“Senpai…” Momo said weakly.  Ai wasn’t sure it if was urging or a protest.

“It’s okay, right?” Ai leaned closer, lips brushing against the younger man’s neck.  He was taking advantage, he knew.  But when would another opportunity such as this present itself?  Besides, now Ai would know if he really had feelings for the redhead or not.

“Ai-senpai,” Momo covered Ai’s hand with his.  He thought he’d shake him away, but instead, Momo pushed his hand closer while thrusting his hips up.  “Please…” he nearly whined.

Ai couldn’t take it.  He pulled his hand away and got off of the bed.

“Senpai?” the redhead looked up at him, hurt flickering in his eyes.

“I’m not leaving,” Ai got down on his knees, settling himself on the floor between his roommate’s legs.  “There’s something I want to try,” he grinned up at him, his heart flip-flopping when he saw the look of pure desperation on Momo’s face, cheeks flushed, golden eyes dark like honey, teeth biting at his lower lip as he fought the urge to thrust his hips against his own hand.

“What is it?” Momo asked softly.

Ai didn’t answer.  Instead, he busied himself with tugging down the younger man’s pants.  Momo lifted his ass so he could get them down below his knees.  It wasn’t unusual, but Ai was still surprised to see that the other man wasn’t wearing underwear.  His cock, flushed, hard and dripping, stared back at him.

Ai licked his lips.

He hadn’t seen many in this state – flaccid, post-workout shower dicks didn’t count.  Momo’s was so hard, but light in color, flushed only at the tip.  The head reminded Ai of a peach, the soft, orange hair around the base adding to the mental image.  It was pretty, Ai thought.

“Is this okay?” Ai tore his gaze away from Momo’s arousal to meet his eyes.

“Senpai, you don’t have to.”

“I said it’s fine,” he was getting a little annoyed.  At least Momo looked like he was into it.

“O…Okay…” Momo nodded, squeezing his eyes shut when Ai stuck his tongue out to lick the tip.  “A-Ah!” he gasped.

So, he was sensitive.

Ai didn’t want it to be over too quickly.  He didn’t want the hours he’d spent practicing with bananas and carrots he’d sneaked up to his room from the cafeteria to go to waste.

“Sen…pai…” Momo gasped when Ai wrapped his lips around the head.

It didn’t taste bad, actually.  It was a little salty, but it wasn’t terrible.  And Momo’s scent filled his nostrils, that mix of chlorine and peaches, but also his natural musk.  It was heady and addicting.

Ai took him in deeper, noting the subtle difference between a banana and the real thing.  Momo was impossibly hard.  It must have been painful.  But Ai was concentrating and taking in as much as he could before the younger man tipped over the edge.

“Ai-senpai, I’m-”

“Not yet,” Ai pulled his lips away.  “Not yet, Momo-kun,” he gripped Momo’s erection at the base, tightening his fingers and causing the younger man to flinch.  “ _Please_.”

“Ai-senpai…”

Ai went back to work, taking in as much as he could.  When he felt the head against the back of his throat, he swallowed around it, pushing himself forward and feeling those soft orange hairs brush against his nose.

Momo was whining above him, thrashing almost.

“Sen…please…I wanna…” he whimpered, fingers coming to thread themselves in Ai’s hair.  Ai swallowed around him again, earning a broken moan.  Ai felt his own erection twitch.  Momo was so sexy, begging him like that.

Ai suddenly felt the urge to ride him, to watch the pleasure play out on the redhead’s face as he came inside him.

He removed his hand from around Momo and lowered it to his crotch, palming himself as he hollowed his cheeks.  Momo was thrusting into his mouth, hurting his throat, but he didn’t care.  He was almost…almost…

“G…G-Gou-san…!” Momo shouted, filling Ai’s throat.  But the older man didn’t take the time to savor the feeling of his first successfully given blowjob.  He pulled back, swallowing what he could and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

He looked up at Momo.  The other man’s eyes were still tightly shut and he was panting, trying to catch his breath.  He probably didn’t even realize he’d said it.

Ai suddenly felt sick to his stomach, his own erection had gone soft.

He was foolish to think that he’d forgotten about her.  He was madly in love with her until about fifteen minutes earlier – and he probably still was.

Ai got up on shaky legs, muttering something about taking a shower, before he turned tail and ran out of the room, shutting the door behind him.  He took off toward the showers, wanting to put as much distance between himself and his roommate as possible.

Of course he said her name.  They weren’t sharing a romantic moment between lovers.  Ai was simply helping him out.  Sure, he was the reason he had gotten hard, but teenagers got hard all the damn time.  It wasn’t special.  _He_ wasn’t special.

He unlocked the door to the locker room and walked inside, stripping as he went.  When he made it to the showers, he turned his on as hot as it would go.

The pain felt good.  It felt like the scalding water was cleansing him.  Any time he messed up, he’d do this.  It burned and it hurt, but it was freeing in a way.  And he could play it off as a sunburn or chaffing from pulling himself out of the pool.  No one needed to know how he punished himself.

And boy had he earned it.

He’d taken advantage of his brokenhearted roommate.  Using him to see if what he felt was just mere attraction or something more.

He recalled the way Momo’s hands held his head, almost cradling it, as he thrust into his mouth.  His moans and whines as Ai brought him closer to his peak.  But then he remembered it was not his name that fell from the other’s lips as he tumbled over the edge.

“Stupid,” Ai felt tears stinging his eyes.  “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he leaned his head down, feeling the spray burning the back of his neck and trickling down the sides of his face.

He’d really fucked up now.  How was he going to look Momo in the eye?  Momo was an open book.  People would know something happened and he was so honest he’d probably tell them.

What if he wasn’t allowed to be on the swim team anymore?  What if his parents found out?  His stepdad was very vocal about his distaste for homosexuals.  He probably wouldn’t be welcome in his own home.

He felt the tears coming again.

What if Momo wanted to change rooms?  What if he hated him?

Ai gripped at his arms, nails digging into his skin.  He couldn’t take that.

Suddenly, a voice jarred him from his thoughts.

“There you are.”  It was Momo.

“Ah, Momo-kun,” Ai spun around and covered himself, looking as demure as possible.  “I’m indecent,” he said bashfully, like he hadn’t just had the other man’s cock down his throat.

“Senpai…”

“You regret it, right?” Ai turned to face the wall, staring at his blurred reflection in the wet tiles. He cursed the tears that started to roll down his cheeks.  He was just glad the other man couldn’t see.

“I do.”

Ai felt his stomach drop.  There was Momo’s trusty honesty for you.  The shower spray turned ice cold.  He’d used all the hot water.  It stung against his pink, heated skin.

Of course he regretted it.  He was straight.  He didn’t want him.  Ai, who had no curves or sex appeal to speak of.  Ai, who was another man.  Ai, who lusted after his own roommate.  Ai, who…realized only then, as his heart felt like it was breaking in two, that, yes, what he felt for Momo was more than just attraction.

He was disgusting.

“I should never ha-”

“I get it,” Ai barked, still looking away.  “I get it…” he repeated, softer this time.

“I’m sorry.”  He could see Momo fidgeting out of the corner of his eye, rubbing his arm awkwardly.

“That’s f-fine,” he cursed himself for stuttering.  “We all m-make mis-stakes…” he felt the room closing in around him.  He hugged his arms tighter and curled in on himself.

Ai expected Momo to walk away.  To leave him to wallow in his own self-pity.  So, he was shocked when he felt arms around him and a strong chest pressed up against his back.

“I should never have taken advantage of you like that,” Momo said and then gasped.  “It’s freezing!”  He reached forward and turned off the flow of water.

Funny how, only when the icy spray had stopped, Ai began to shiver.

“Senpai,” Momo took off his jacket, wet only on the outside, and put it over Ai’s shoulders, wrapping him in another hug. “Why?”

Why what?  Why had the water been so cold?  Why had he run away?  Why had he embarrassed himself by sucking him off?

All good questions.

But none that Ai wanted to answer.

“Ai-senpai,” Momo spoke again, chest rumbling where Ai’s cheek was pressed up against it.  “Do you…like me?”

Before today Ai wouldn’t have had an answer for him.  But now…

“No,” he lied.

“Oh,” Momo sounded…disappointed?  “I thought,” but then he shook his head.  “I’m sorry,” he said again.  “You were just helping me out and I…”

“I understand,” Ai tried to keep his teeth from chattering.  “You’re in love with Gou-san,” his eyes were downcast.  “Of course you’d think about her when you-”

“But I don’t!” Momo pulled back, holding Ai’s shoulders.  Ai gripped at his jacket cape, holding it so it wouldn’t fall off.  “I liked Gou-san, a lot,” he swallowed.  “But I never once thought about her when I…” he trailed off, face flushing.  “Gou-san is so cute and pure that I-”

“I see,” Ai said, but he didn’t.

“When you were, uh, ya know,” Momo scratched his cheek, “I felt like I was going to come right away, so I thought about cute things to distract me, ya know?”  He was fidgeting again.  “Otters, Pyunsuke, puppies, and…Gou-san.”

“If you think for a moment that I-” but he stopped.  Momo wouldn’t lie.  “So, you really weren’t thinking of her like that?”

“Of course not,” Momo shook his head.  “There’s only one person I think about like-like th-that,” his face was bright red again.

Oh.  Another girl.

“Well, I hope that the two of you-”

“It’s you, Ai-senpai,” Momo’s hands were on his shoulders again.

“Momo-kun,” Ai asked slowly, carefully.  “Do you like me?”

“I, uh,” he licked his lips.  “I wasn’t sure because I think about Senpai a lot and when I do I get h-hard and…” he pulled his hands back, one reaching to rub the back of his neck.  “But when you kissed me before you-”

“I kissed you?”

“On my neck,” Momo pointed.  “When you kissed me…I knew.”

Ai walked closer to him, his bare feet slapping against the wet tile floor.

“You knew what?”

“I like you, Senpai,” Momo reached a shaky hand forward to comb his fingers through Ai’s wet hair.  “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Ai cupped Momo’s cheek, holding the jacket over his shoulders with the other hand.  “I like you, too.”

Every doubt Ai had seemed to wash away when Momo leaned down to kiss him.  He felt cleansed and warm – despite the cold water droplets on his nearly naked skin.

Momo pulled away first, golden eyes clouded.

“We should get back to the room,” he said.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Ai pressed up against him, feeling Momo through his sweats, already half hard.  The taller man shivered and he knew it wasn’t from the cold.  “If you’re good, maybe I’ll let you pay me back,” he bit his lip.  He could almost see the perked ears and wagging tail appear on the younger man.  “Let’s go back.”

“Okay, Senpai,” Momo reached for his hand and held it as they walked over to gather Ai’s clothes.  He held his hand all the way back to their room and later, when they were both spent, lying side by side on the bottom bunk, his hand found his again and didn’t let go until morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Aww, these two. I love them so much, I just had to torture them. Here's to giving Ai more love and attention. That precious duckling!
> 
> Let me know what you think and hit me up on tumblr~  
> http://jubesy.tumblr.com/


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